A few weeks ago, we went out for one of my roommate's birthdays at Dinosaur BBQ in Harlem. As we were wrapping up dinner, we decided we needed to walk up to Fairway to digest a little before walking home and sitting on our butts like the fat loads we felt like (post-Dino fatness is the best of all fatnesses). Since we were going to the supermarket, my roomies asked what cupcakes would I be buying ingredients for. Homemade Hostess Cupcakes, I declared. I knew I had a recipe in my Martha Stewart Cupcakes book, and I was ready to try it.
(Source: Martha Stewart)
Everyone got instantly excited. I pulled the recipe up on my phone and quickly saw that it only made 12 cupcakes. I would double it! But wow, that seemed like a lot of butter and Marshmallow Fluff for 24 cupcakes. That's because the recipe made 12 jumbo cupcakes, which translates to 24 regular cupcakes. I now had the ingredients to make 48 Homemade Hostess Cupcakes. I have a class of 18 and a friend's birthday coming up... no problem! I soon realized I wanted nothing to do with more than 24 of these cupcakes.
Many things went wrong yesterday. First of all, let's talk about the definition of "room temperature." The Internet defines room temperature as between 65 and 75 degrees Fahrenheit (roughly). When it is 95 degrees outside and you are in an unairconditioned and poorly ventilated room, your room's temperature is going to be a little warmer. Add a 350 degree oven and a cook running around like a chicken with her head cut off to that, and you're basically cooking outside in the New York City summer. My tiny hurricane fan couldn't keep up! I blame the temperature for the majority of things that happened with these cupcakes.
The rest of the things that went wrong were totally my fault. I thought I knew more than Martha. Cooking Rule #346: You NEVER know more than Martha! There was a reason these cupcakes were supposed to be jumbo. There was a reason these cupcakes were unlined and the pans greased a certain way. And there was a reason she outlined a ridiculously detailed method of filling these cupcakes. I'm sorry I doubted you, Martha. My laziness will be my demise.
Let's get right to it. For the complete, accurate, uninterrupted recipe, check out Martha's website.
Jumbo Cream-Filled Chocolate Cupcakes (from Martha Stewart's Cupcakes)
Ingredients
- 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature, plus more for tins
- 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, plus more for tins
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- 2 teaspoons baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 2 cups sugar
- 3 large eggs, room temperature
- 1 cup sour cream, room temperature
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush tins with butter; dust with cocoa powder, tapping out excess.
Here's where I thought I knew more than Martha. Brushing the tins and dusting with cocoa took forever, dyed my finger brown, and honestly didn't look to be creating a really great protective coating. For my second muffin tin, I sprayed liberally with nonstick cooking spray. It would be an experiment. Which would work better?
Whisk together flour, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.
With an electric mixer, cream butter and sugar until pale and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, beating until each is incorporated, scraping down sides of bowl as needed.
With the exception of creaming butter & sugar together, I mix all of my cakes by hand. Always.
Add flour mixture in two batches, alternating with the sour cream, and mixing until just incorporated after each.
My batter was super lumpy, so I broke my own rule and gave it a little spin with my hand mixer.
Divide batter evenly among prepared cups, filling each with about 1/4 cup (1/2 cup if you're making jumbo cakes).
Bake, rotating tins halfway through, until a cake tester inserted in centers comes out clean, about 20 minutes. Cool in tins 5 minutes, then run a small knife around the edges to loosen; turn out cupcakes onto racks and let cool completely.
Remember when I said I don't have cooling racks or a cupcake carrier? Well, I bought a carrier, but not racks... so I used my carrier as a cooling rack! It worked a lot better and took up a lot less space than the plates I had been using.
I bet you're dying to know the results of the experiment. Just kidding, you totally already know. Martha was right, and I was wrong.
The actual cakes weren't a total disaster. It was the Marshmallow Cream Filling that did me in.
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 cups marshmallow cream, such as Marshmallow Fluff
- 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, cut into pieces, room temperature
Whisk marshmallow cream and butter until smooth. Cover with plastic wrap and chill until slightly firm, 15 to 30 minutes, before using.
I should have chilled for longer. I should have stopped filling halfway through and re-chilled. It was too damn hot in my kitchen, and the runny Fluff filling got everywhere. Fluff on the table. Fluff on the floor. Fluff clogging my drain. Fluff on my brand new apron. Somehow, someway, Fluff on my cabinets?
I did not follow Martha's filling directions at all. At this point, I was frustrated and my kitchen was a disaster. It was hot, and I was tired. I put my Fluff in a piping bag with a filling tip, poked a hole in the top of the cake, and filled until it oozed out. The cakes were already ugly - they were all short, some were burnt, and half were missing chunks out of the bottom. I no longer cared. I had accepted Disaster Cakes for what they are - a delicious mess.
I brought them to class that night, and they were a big hit. I apologized a million times, but no one seemed to care that they were hideous. One of my classmates, a far more experienced baker than I, talked me though my disaster and advised me to chalk it up to the temperature and move on. I will not be making these again - at least not without jumbo tins and the proper filling technique. Instead, I'm going to find something else to do with the leftover Fluff and sour cream, although I'm not quite sure what that is...
So what have we learned?
- Don't bake at noon in the summer in your unairconditioned dorm.
- Marshmallow Fluff was created by the devil to destroy your kitchen.
- Nobody cares how things look as long as they taste good.
- I do not know more about cupcakes than Martha Stewart.
What was your biggest baking disaster?
Ugh, I HATE serving less than beautiful baked goods. People never seem to have a problem with it, though! Kudos to you for serving them anyway...I'm sure they were delicious :)
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